Hamangyeon, seishirou x subaru style
by LadyKadaj
Summary: Occurs after Rainbow Bridge, written in line to lyrics from Hamangyeon which is a poetic language in Korean that means “too far away… daze… boundless… limitless”. Dedicated to all fans of Sei X Sub. Let's see how many of you can guess the direction this f


**Title: Hamangyeon – Seishirou x Subaru Style****  
****Rating: **Angsty/ brooding so stay away if you cant handle angst well :P**  
****Pairing(s) (if applicable): **Seishirou x Subaru of course **  
****Genre: **Dark Romance**  
****Chapter: **One shot**  
****Summary: **Subaru's thoughts as he returns to the bridge, written in line to the lyrics of Hamangyeon which suits him very well IMO. Ah, thats the lovely song featured in "Jewel in the Palace" the korean drama taking Asia by storm now, maybe I should upload the song somewhere so people can hear it and see why I think it fits Subaru? **_Please listen to the song while reading, then it will all make sense. Not too sure if FFnet allows me to post URL here, so I'll just put the link under 'review.'_****  
****Note: **Hamangyeon is a poetic language in Korean that means "too far away… daze… boundless… limitless".

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* * *

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**Icy shades of blue**  
Morose and alone the pale young man wanders, bloodstained coat once a pure white fluttering in the chilled winds as he gazes into the depths of the waters…

**I've been true to you**  
He thinks back fondly to the happiest times of his life; to those years so long ago when his twin had still been alive. And how his special person still remained 'special' to him, despite all the hurts and pain he had caused…

A bittersweet smile slowly curves the young man's lips as he barely whispers the name of the one still dearest to him…

**Shaped my world on "soon"**  
He recalls the shock and pain of losing his twin, and the vehement declarations of vengeance he swore against his special person then.  
_  
"Soon… soon, I'll kill you. Your death will be of my doing. Soon…"  
_He had told himself that, chanted it over and over like a mantra to get by the loneliness of those nine long years.

**Prayed to ghostly moons**  
He remembers how the moon had always reminded him of the Sakurazukamori, and of the illusions the other always wove.  
How he had hated the moon then, yet in his own strange perverse way he loved it because it was a symbol of his special person, the dark side of onmyoujitsu.

The Yin to complement his Yang.

So again on this particular night, the young man finds himself gazing longingly at the moon as he did all those nights so long ago…

**Deep and dark it preys**  
He lets the loneliness eat away at him, lets it prey on what's left of him as his pained heart continues to pine for the one so dear…

**Bleak and stark, in greys**  
The world had ceased to exist the day _he_ died; life no longer holds any meaning for him with the very color of existence itself faded into monochromes…

**Love's a shark at bay**  
The anticipation of meeting his special person was what that had kept him going all those years… The thrill, the joy, the feeling of uncertainty which constantly wore his mind thin was surprisingly, the only force that had kept his heart going.

**Til your heart's betrayed**  
But now… he has nothing. All those years he had endured, just to end up with… nothing.  
Except to turn into a bitter person who feels broken, empty…

Betrayed.

**Oh, the curse of men and war**  
Dragons of Heaven…  
Dragons of Earth…  
The battle for the End of the World…  
Destiny…

Do these even matter to him?

No… in the end, nothing matters because he had lost it all.

**My hero's cry is empty, forlorn**  
The tears had spilled, flowing in copious amounts as he mourned the passing of his special one but nobody understood. Not even Kamui.

Nobody would ever know how bereft he felt.

**In the silence I concede**  
He had given up trying to make them understand because he knew they _never_ would. He concedes that he may be the only one to have understood his beloved as he left his comrades without so much as a farewell.

He had taken off into the Silence of the night.

**My heart can't flee**  
He had tried to numb the pain by drowning his sorrows but even that didn't work. Seishirou still haunted his thoughts, every waking minute of it as much as he did his dreams…

**This hopeless dream must be or vanish**  
He knows it pure foolishness to pine for one no longer of this world, for one who had scarred him so bad that all that remains is a mere shadow of his former self.

Yet he still can't help it…

**Foolish love**  
Subaru had long ago given up rationalizing his feelings; his twin was right afterall.

_'Only the heart knows what the heart knows.'

* * *

_

**Once you promised distant shore**  
He remembers the numerous proclaimations of undying love Seishirou had made during the Year of the Bet, and how he had promised that he would always be there for him.

**And oe'r the waves you'd lift me once more**  
A wistful smile curves Subaru's lips as he relives those sweet memories again; memories of Seishirou guiding him, comforting him, holding him tight when he needed a shoulder to cry on…

Of Seishirou spurring him on.

**Now my pain brings no reward**  
_What was the point of it all?_  
His suffering had been for naught as the only person who had ever mattered to him was gone.

'What is the point of it all!' he asks aloud for the umpteenth time that night.

**Your fate's bound and sworn**  
Seishirou was still being kept apart from him; his very existence severed by the grip of Death itself, and Death was a possessive bitch that was wont not to let go.

Was it then the Sakurazukamori's fate to be killed by the one who loved him most?

To be separated from the one who loved and still loves him most?

**From afar I wish you near**  
Subaru wishes Seishirou was still alive, despite the futility of it because the dead always remain dead, due to that untranscendable boundary between Life and Death itself.

He knows Seishirou is far… so very far away…

As far as the Moon is from the Sun,  
As the Heavens are from the Earth.

Yet he can't stop wishing, hoping… praying…  
That maybe, just maybe, there would be a Miracle this time.

**And with each breath, I tremble with fear**  
He holds his breath in anticipation as he beseeches the Spirits, awaiting their response.  
Hope wells up in him that maybe this time, he'll get to speak to Seishirou yet he shivers when his psychic link with the otherworld was suddenly severed.

Subaru feels the first beginnings of fear stir.

_Was it possible Seishirou did not wish to see him?_

**For in spite of how I bleed**  
He feels his already bruised heart shatter into a thousand pieces, like the shards of a broken mirror never to be salvaged again. The pain of being rejected by your special person even from beyond… It was too much to bear and he starts weeping as never before, weeping the tears of his heart's bleed.

**My heart can't flee**  
He weeps for himself, for his lost love, for all that could have been and yet was not meant to be…  
For the foolishness of his heart, for knowing there was nothing he could do.

For the utter helplessness of it all.

**This hopeless dream must be or vanish**  
Subaru stares down again into the murky depths of the water into his reflection, and sees someone else standing beside him. With that smirk he came to love so much.

That special someone he had wanted most to see…

"Seishirou!"

**Foolish love**  
Subaru turns around in anticipation, but the Sakurazukamori was nowhere to be seen.

Was it all just then another figment of his imagination?

He feels his heart plummet as reality sinks in.

* * *

**My heart can't flee**  
He glances back to the water, and sees Seishirou there again. Only this time, the Sakurazukamori was gifting him with a saccharine smile instead of his usual trademark smirk. 

Subaru's breath stilled as he savored the moment. It was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen, a genuinely sweet smile gracing the Sakurazukamori's lips for once, the likes of which had never been glimpsed before, not even in his moment of death. And to think it was only meant for him!

As if reading his thoughts Seishirou nodded, twin pools of amber sparkling mischievously while he extended a hand out as if to beckoning him in…

**This foolish love**  
Subaru smiles happily.

To think Seishirou actually came back for him- it must mean the Sakurazukamori loved him afterall. The man he loved, loved him afterall! Loved him so much to return from the dead for him, just for Him!

He makes a grab for Seishirou's hand and falls deep into the dark water, into the embrace of the one he loved above Life itself.

* * *

End


End file.
